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contentment.

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the barn is almost complete

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i cannot tell a lie. i have had mixed feelings about this barn. on the one hand it has been an amazing project that hoosier man and georgia boys have been able to put together from start to finish: from drawing up plans to putting the roofing on. the work done has been well-thought-out, well-constructed, and just plain good. hoosier man saved a ton of money by using 'free' windows, and hand me down siding. go hoosier man! but, after all is said and done it still has been a chunk of money.

my mixed feelings come in when i look at our front and back of the house and we still have no deck after living in the house for 14+ years (which we have talked about and talked about but because I haven't saved for it, it hasn't happened); the discontent there is we didn't save for the barn either; then there is our carpet throughout living room and hall. it is thread bare (i mean you can see the backing); no wood floors to replace it. because i haven't saved for it. and the lone cabinet still lays in the garage unfinished and not put together...

i know the source of my discontent.

i just haven't found that place in this situation of contentment. so when hoosier man is super excited i truly am excited for him but that discontentment creeps into my being trying to rob the excitement i want to freely give; to freely have.

nothing i can do about any of this except give my discontentment over to my God - and rest in His provisions. it is only their I find contentment. it is there i don't see a thread bare carpet but the roof over our head that shelters us from the storm. the home God blesses as we open our doors to a small group of believers for the study of His word. i don't see the lack of back porch or front porch but his amazing creation as i walk out the door: the clouds he regales me with just because he know how much i love the clouds; i don't see a barn instead of...(place discontentment here) but I see a labor of love, a time of bonding with his sons, proof again and again hoosier man is hard working, full use of gifts honed over the years.

so flee discontentment. get behind me. you're not welcome here.

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