In 1993 while in the Air Force stationed at Fort Rucker, AL, I had a conversation on the phone with a former boss and mentor who shared a piece of technology news in the world of meteorology and she suggested I avail myself immediately. I researched this new technology, hemmed and hawed over jumping in to this particular technology because in the world of meteorology it was what I feared the most. Then I put on my big girl pants and approached my current boss with my desire to attend the brand new radar meteorology course at the National Severe Storms Laboratory (NSSL) in Norman, OK for the Doppler Weather Surveillance Radar (WSR-88D).
Stepping out like this was totally outside my comfort zone. Even more so because radar meteorology was the bane of my meteorology career up to that point. I feared the radar and I just did not get the concept of radar. However, I never let them see me sweat it, so my supervisor, without hesitation, submitted the paperwork necessary to send me to the NSSL and the civilian-based WSR-88D course where all National Weather Service and Air Force weather forecasters would attend the school.
Taking that course, being one of the earliest graduates of the program – I think I was in the third class – transformed my – understanding - of radar meteorology. Something finally clicked in my brain. I finally got it. Returning to my unit, and because I was the only person to have been trained, I became the program coordinator and trainer and certifier when our unit received the WSR-88D. When I changed duty stations, I would become the expert at radar meteorology and was always a part of the severe weather team called in, interrogating storms.
I attended a class in 1993 on the Doppler Weather Surveillance Radar. I bought a cup to remember - and maybe because I was a teensy bit proud of myself. It was the first cup I kept to remember. It is well-used, faded, yet every time I pick up that cup I remember the weather radar.
Technically, not a story of 2019. Technically, a story about me. Ali Edwards' Story kits inspire me to tell stories I'm sure I would never tell, but are so much a part of my story. This months story kit theme is LISTENING and I was inspired to tell my story about Barry Manilow, because as a teenager in the 70's and 80's, Barry Manilow was one of the primary musicians I listened to. I have long since 'given him up' but when I hear one of his songs it floods my senses with memories of sitting next to the record player, reading the words to the songs in my mind and belting out the lyrics along with Barry.
I decided back in March that I would regularly, every couple of weeks or as long as a bouquet of flowers will last healthily, purchase one - or two - bouquets of flowers. Nothing fancy. Just beautiful and eye-catching.
I was in Publix the other day picking up a hard-to-find cheese (Horseradish cheddar) for an upcoming meal, and grabbed two bundles of this gorgeous, colorful array. It makes me smile every time I walk by, or come into the room as they catch my eye.
If that is all they are there for - their beauty makes me smile - worth it!
I should have said, "Circa 1980-ish," because, truthfully, I'm not exactly sure when I did move into my sister's room after she moved out. But, she graduated from high school in 1979 and I know she was married shortly thereafter so 1980 is pretty close. If I had other posters in my room besides Tom Selleck's Magnum PI I do not remember them. I do, however, remember the numerous lions and tigers, photos, figurines, really, anything big cats that I began collecting.
Recently, I had to throw away my large tiger stuffed animal because it gave me a rash whenever I would lie on it. So don't lie on it, right! But, in truth it was time. Does that mean I no longer adore tigers? Not in the least. I still have tigers in our bedroom, even - on display.
The only display I have of Tom Selleck, though, are the collection of DVDs of his television shows and some of his movies.
I GIVE MYSELF PERMISSION to let go of seeing myself as a failure in other’s successes. I don’t usually compare, rob myself of joy, but there is a couple of people who have begun a healthy journey around the same time as me - different, but they are seeing more success at weight loss. It is hard not to compare. I have to consider my personal situation against me, alone. It’s freeing.
I GIVE MYSELF PERMISSION to rejoice in the successes. I have a hard time doing this because I think if I do, I will see setbacks because I’ve been prideful. It’s a slippery slope and in the mean time, I think I’m hurting, rather than helping, myself.
I GIVE MYSELF PERMISSION to abide in my decisions to eat an 85/15 Keto-type lifestyle and that it will simply take longer to lose weight, a long-term lifestyle this way is more doable, and practical for my way of life and how I choose to live, versus a more restrictive ‘diet’, instead, it’s a way of life I can grow with.
I GIVE MYSELF PERMISSION to not be sensitive. My emotions are sitting on the cusp of overwhelm, therefore, I am reacting to unintentional words as hurtful, with a raw, scarred wounded heart. Instead, I need to soak up more of Jesus, more of His Word, think on those things that are true and noble and good.
I GIVE MYSELF PERMISSION to give the time for some deep work. I have wanted to write a Bible study for so long but the time I would need to work on it is intense. I always think there are other things to do. I just needed permission that even if it is only for me, and maybe my daughter, I need to do this.
I GIVE MYSELF PERMISSION to accept that becoming WHOLE is a work in progress. However, it is progress and it is not perfection. It is becoming more like Christ and not more like me. Because I don’t want to become more like me. I would prefer to become more like Christ and who He meant me to be. Apr ‘19
Not only are the physical therapy sessions reducing regular pain levels to near non-existent, and walking is easier and standing...oh my, I can stand again for longer than a couple minutes, and I can accomplish things around the house I haven't been able to for years - many years, but they are restoring pieces of my life thought lost. Once I would take a bubble bath, regularly, sometimes weekly, even more often, but as my SI joint, sciatica, and hip pain accelerated I haven't been able to get in to a tub, let alone soak in one. I haven't soaked in a steaming, hot bubble bath for more than five years. That all changed the other day. Glorious!
My One Little Word for 2019 is WHOLE. And, I am sorely behind on my lessons. Ali Edwards, our instructor sent out April's lesson and changed things up from previous years. Each week in the month of April she is encouraging us to respond to a statement or prompt that she is sending out at the beginning of the week. It means we'll be engaging with our word at least once a week.
When I listened to the lesson I quickly jumped on board with the first prompt. I knew how I wanted to create my page. I just didn't know what I wanted to say. But, first I created the page. As I was digitally stamping the I AM words onto my page I began thinking about my OLW WHOLE and where I stand right now with that word and my life.
Even though, as I mentioned, I am sorely behind, meaning I haven't completed several months of lessons, jumping in and completing this one lesson of four is, I think, enough to get me back on track. I think I'll take the month of April to catch up with my lessons.
I'm reading a book called Deep Work and while it is geared for critical work, life work, and not hobbies, I think the lessons I'm learning about deep work can be pretty much applied to any 'work' that needs to be done. I need to look at these assignments as deep work. It's a matter of focus and discipline.
I am a work in progress, yet, I am living a great story right now. I decided to move forward intead of remain stagnant, or worse, take a step or two, or three, backwards. I’m not where I hope to be - yet. I’m not even close. But, my story right now is a great place to be. It is a place full of hope: my body is healing, and so is my heart. I’m growing spiritually, and relationally. I’ve chosen to forgive - and love, instead. Some days are just. plain. hard. But, each choice, each step forward is making me into the woman God meant me to be. I once questioned, “Would I still be okay if the worst thing that could happen, happened?” When - it actually happened and I found God right there with me walking me through the pain and heartache, right where He said He’d be. And, I am going to be okay. What freedom I have found as I walked away from that fear. It’s happened, that worst thing, and I am okay. Because I am free, I am even better for having gone through the pain. Now, I’m in a great story. A testiment to the goodness of God. Mar ‘19
Digital supplies used by: Ali Edwards Design Story kits PIECES and ME and a template from her phenomenal class Hello Story 2
"Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful
or believe to be beautiful" - William Morris
I love that quote! I often refer to it when I am contemplating what I have in my home. It is one of the deciding factors for purchases. It is most definitely a mantra for purging and organizing my home whether it is the clothes in my closet, the pillows in my living room, or even kitchen utensils.
Lately, I have felt our home lacking in fresh, and spring, and beauty. And, the easiest way to add these to any home is fresh flowers and greenery. The other day when Jeff and I made a quick stop into Publix I snagged a bundle of fresh flowers along with the one or two items we needed. If I could dance I would be doing a happy dance. A week later and those flowers are still holding together and still making me smile.
Sometimes it is the simplest of things that make the most impact. This is my goal this spring and summer: bring color, fresh, and beautiful into my home.